This post was selected as Blogadda's Tangy Tuesday pick (Thanks to Dreamer)
A Turbaned Old Man (TOM) and a young man from his office, a Junior Entrant Representing the Ruthless (Reckless) Youth (JERRY) were pacing up and down the room. TOM was visibly nervous and every now and then slumps into the sofa wringing his hand.JERRY: Relax dude, you can do it. In fact you have done it so many times.
TOM: I know, I know, but every time it feels like it is the first time. I don’t know what to say this time
JERRY: Let us start with the positives. Your achievement! You are the third longest serving PM in terms of number of days in office. We could definitely highlight that. Or better still, let us talk about the number of days you have not spoken while in office. That will take you right up to the top. It will be a record no one can dream to emulate given your competitors’ penchant for speaking non stop.
TOM: No,no, we can’t. They call me a puppet and you know that the puppet remains in the same place till somebody shifts it. Besides Barka, Rajdeep & Co have been hollering from their channels urging me to speak up.
JERRY: Okay, then let’s talk about Kashmir and your magnanimous offer of autonomy….
TOM: Are you crazy? There will be more blood shed. Mine…..besides they have already taken their autonomy preferring to celebrate their Independence Day on 14th and closing the valley on the 15th. How I wish I was there and not here! Then I need not go out on the 15th.
JERRY: Cool man, cool. Let us then showcase our economy, agriculture……..
TOM: Seriously Jerry, You should do your homework, any talk of economy will automatically lead to inflation. Whatever jargon we use like single digit, double digit, positive , negative, people still say they feel the pinch. Frankly I don’t know what the fuss is all about. My wife never complains of price rise. And if I talk about agriculture, these TV channels will show food rotting in the godowns.
JERRY: In that case we will trumpet the prestige of holding the Commom Wealth Games.
TOM: Are you playng games with me? I have stopped watching TV for the fear of new skeletons tumbling out of the cup boards. But my colleagues who are enjoying their moments of glory in the TV studios and impromptu interviews tell me that Suresh has been going around telling everybody that he is ready to sacrifice his LIFE for his COUNTRY.
JERRY: No boss, I think he is being misquoted as usual. What he must have meant was that he is ready to sacrifice his COUNTRY for the sake of his LIFE. Anyways, how about taking credit for the super bug being named after our Capital? This surely is an admission by the West that we are emerging as a Super Power.
TOM: We could, but the Ministry of Health and the medical fraternity is opposing it tooth and nail. My own council of Ministers are against me denying me this simple pleasure. Jerry, we are running out of time. Please do something
JERRY: No sweat man, I will hustle up something man. I don’t think anybody gives a damn oops sorry, about what you will be speaking. There will be loads of school children and security personnel who will out number the children. The children will want this to end, so that they can go and enjoy their holiday and for the security it is another day in office. Moreover you will standing behind a bullet proof glass and no one can even hurl a shoe if they wanted to.
TOM: Don’t rub it in. Get me something fast.
An hour later JERRY comes in and hands TOM some sheets of paper.
TOM: Thanks man.
He starts reading “ Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny…….
TOM: Hey wait….. Isn’t this Panditji speech on August 15th 1947.
JERRY: Right man, you are fast. Who will remember it anyway, considering aam aadmi’s short memory? And one more thing it is still relevant. A tribute to speech writers like us. We make our speeches timeless, so that it can be used anywhere and any time
TOM faints.
Happy Independence Day! Proud to be an Indian. Aren’t we a resilient lot?
P.S. This was supposed to be posted a couple of days earlier. Shall I just say I just got my freedom now?
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